burqalicious:

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

f0xface:

i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin

lulz-time:

theclearlydope:via

New favorite scent.

mmm, burnt apartment.

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

ordonian-hero:

That little sneek wanted to see a passionate moment…..yeah you wonder why I make sure my window is closed at night

utmostidiocy:

A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it’s 3am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.

vonizzix:

emifail:

p-sanmiguel:

ohshietnigguh:

thatsthepowerofpinesolbaby:

omg this girl putting on makeup on her husband

i can’t stop laughing at his face

omfg

his reaction when he saw his face at the end omfg i couldnt stop laughing

omfg he has the funniest reactions holy shit the end tho

“baby you said i look beautiful. were you lying?”

proverbialblindman:

Anxiety isn’t cute. Don’t act like you have it because if you want it, here. Have mine. Because it’s not fucking cute and I don’t want it.